Expectations

I'll steal and idea from someone i haven't even met...but someone I'm going to meet very soon.


It's a silly Monday afternoon, we have agreed via OKCupid to meet at Helios (or maybe Cup of Joe's. I really love them both too much). We are supposed to meet at 4:15, the most casual time either of us could think of. I didn't tell anyone I was doing this. It's something I'm doing just for me. It's scary. Putting one's self out there is always scary, but it's something that I've always known I needed to do.
So it's Monday afternoon, about 4:05, i get in my car and head towards Western (i guess I've decided on Cup of Joe's). I park in the big comfortable parking lot behind the place and walk around the corner hoping to find him waiting outside for me. As much as i love awkward situations, I'm never sure what is the most polite thing to do. Should I get my White Hot Chocolate and find a seat and wait, should I wait outside for him, should i just take a seat inside and then order when he gets here, if he gets here...
He's standing beside the door waiting for me. At least I'm fairly certain that's him. He's actually a lot like I imagined. "Andrew?" i ask as i round the corner. He smiles. "Hi, I'm Christina" I smile back...........and that's where I lose it. I'm no good at predicting what people will say. That's the scary part. I can't even predict what I will say. Oh God I hope he does smile. I hope I'm not a huge disappointment.


Whether we know it or not, we always have expectations for a situation. Sometimes they are high and sometimes they are low. I think that the mood of any encounter has a lot to do with how those hidden expectations are met.
I wont go in much deeper. I'm not going to plan our lives together...or apart...quite yet. As my counselor would say, That's like picking out my rest home. I just hope that I have the guts to go through with it and that in some small way I become a better person for the adventure.